Finding Calm: How to Deal with Anxiety Every Day
Quik Book Summary- May 16
- 10 min read
How to Deal with Anxiety
Anxiety can feel like a heavy backpack that you can't take off. Sometimes it's just a little uncomfortable, and other times it feels crushing. But here's the good news: you're not alone, and there are many ways to lighten that load. This guide will walk you through simple, practical steps to deal with anxiety in your everyday life.
Table of Contents
What Is Anxiety?
Anxiety is your body's natural response to stress. It's that feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. Everyone feels anxious sometimes – before a big test, when meeting new people, or when facing a challenge. This kind of anxiety is normal and can even be helpful, pushing us to prepare or stay alert.
But sometimes anxiety sticks around too long or feels too strong. When anxiety starts to interfere with your daily life, relationships, or happiness, that's when it becomes a problem worth addressing.
In America, anxiety affects about 40 million adults – that's nearly 1 in 5 people! Among teens, anxiety is even more common. About 1 in 3 teenagers will experience an anxiety disorder at some point. These numbers show that if you're dealing with anxiety, you're definitely not alone.
Talking about anxiety isn't always easy. Some people worry they'll be seen as weak or dramatic. But mental health is just as important as physical health, and talking about anxiety is a sign of strength, not weakness. Learning how to deal with anxiety is an important life skill – just like learning how to eat healthy or exercise.
Common Signs and Symptoms
Anxiety can show up in different ways for different people. Here are some common signs that might mean you're experiencing anxiety:
In your body:
Racing heartbeat
Sweating or feeling hot
Shaky hands
Tight chest or trouble breathing
Upset stomach, nausea, or "butterflies"
Headaches or muscle tension
Trouble sleeping
Feeling tired all the time
In your thoughts:
Worrying a lot about things that might go wrong
Thinking the worst will happen
Having trouble concentrating
Finding it hard to make decisions
Feeling like your mind is racing
Being more irritable than usual
In your behaviors:
Avoiding situations that make you nervous
Asking for reassurance over and over
Checking things many times
Having trouble sitting still
Giving up on things because they feel too overwhelming
Everyone experiences anxiety a little differently. You might have many of these symptoms or just a few. They might come and go, or they might be more constant. The important thing is to recognize when anxiety is affecting your life negatively and to learn how to deal with it.
What Causes Anxiety?
Anxiety doesn't usually have just one cause. Instead, several factors often work together:
Brain Chemistry: Your brain has chemicals called neurotransmitters that help control your mood. Sometimes these get out of balance, which can lead to anxiety.
Genetics: Anxiety can run in families. If your parents or close relatives have anxiety, you might be more likely to experience it too.
Life Experiences: Stressful or traumatic events can trigger anxiety. This might include:
Major life changes (moving, changing schools, parents divorcing)
Difficult experiences (bullying, abuse, loss of a loved one)
Ongoing stress (family problems, health issues, money worries)
Personality: Some people naturally tend to worry more or react more strongly to stress.
Health Issues: Sometimes anxiety can be related to other health problems or medications.
Daily Habits: Things like not getting enough sleep, using too much caffeine, or not eating well can make anxiety worse.
Social Media and News: Constantly being exposed to bad news or comparing yourself to others online can increase anxiety.
Understanding what might be causing your anxiety is helpful, but it's also important to know that sometimes anxiety shows up without a clear reason – and that's okay too. How to deal with anxiety matters more than why you have it.
Simple Ways to Deal with Anxiety
Learning how to deal with anxiety is like learning any other skill – it takes practice. The good news is that there are many effective strategies you can try.
Deep Breathing
When you're anxious, your breathing often becomes shallow and quick. Deep breathing helps break this cycle and sends a message to your brain that it's time to calm down.
Try this simple technique:
Breathe in slowly through your nose for 4 counts
Hold your breath for 1-2 counts
Breathe out slowly through your mouth for 6 counts
Repeat 5-10 times
This is called "4-6 breathing" (breathe in for 4, out for 6). The trick is to make your exhale longer than your inhale, which helps activate your body's relaxation response.
You can practice deep breathing anywhere – in class, before a test, on the bus, or in bed. No one even needs to know you're doing it!
Talking to Someone
Sharing your worries with someone you trust can help in several ways:
It gets the thoughts out of your head
It helps you see things from a different perspective
It reminds you that you're not alone
Sometimes just saying your fears out loud makes them seem less scary
Who should you talk to? Anyone you trust – a friend, parent, teacher, school counselor, coach, or other family member. If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone you know, there are also hotlines and text lines where you can talk to trained counselors anonymously.
Remember that talking about anxiety is not a sign of weakness – it's a sign of strength and self-awareness.
Staying Active
Exercise is one of the most effective ways to deal with anxiety. When you move your body, it releases chemicals that improve your mood and reduce stress.
You don't need to become a fitness guru to benefit. Even small amounts of activity can help:
Taking a 10-minute walk
Dancing to your favorite songs
Shooting hoops
Riding a bike
Swimming
Yoga or stretching
The best exercise for anxiety is whatever activity you enjoy enough to do regularly. Try to get moving for at least 30 minutes most days, but even 5-10 minutes is better than nothing.
Eating Healthy
What you eat affects how you feel, including your anxiety levels. Some basic guidelines:
Foods that may help reduce anxiety:
Whole grains (like oatmeal or brown rice)
Fruits and vegetables
Lean proteins (like chicken, fish, beans, or tofu)
Healthy fats (like avocados, nuts, or olive oil)
Water (staying hydrated is important for your brain)
Foods that may increase anxiety:
Sugary foods and drinks
Processed foods
Fried foods
Alcohol
Too much caffeine
You don't need to follow a perfect diet, but paying attention to how different foods affect your mood can help you make choices that support your mental health.
Avoiding Too Much Caffeine
Caffeine is a stimulant that can make anxiety worse. It's found in:
Coffee
Tea
Energy drinks
Soda
Chocolate
Some medications
Caffeine can cause symptoms that feel very similar to anxiety – racing heart, nervousness, trouble sleeping. If you're struggling with anxiety, try cutting back on caffeine or avoiding it altogether, especially in the afternoon and evening.
Journaling
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you deal with anxiety in several ways:
It gives you a safe place to express yourself
It helps you identify patterns in your anxiety
It allows you to challenge negative thoughts
It can help you track what works and what doesn't
You don't need to write pages and pages. Even a few minutes of journaling can be helpful. Here are some prompts to get started:
"Today I'm feeling..."
"I'm worried about..."
"One thing that helped me feel calm today was..."
"Three things I'm grateful for today are..."
Using Apps and Tools
Technology can be both a cause of anxiety and a tool to help manage it. Many helpful apps and websites are designed specifically to help with anxiety:
Meditation and Mindfulness Apps:
Headspace - Guided meditations and mindfulness exercises
Calm - Sleep stories, meditations, and relaxing music
Insight Timer - Free library of guided meditations
Smiling Mind - Specifically designed for young people
Anxiety Management Tools:
MindShift CBT - Uses cognitive behavioral therapy techniques
What's Up - Includes coping strategies and habit tracking
Clear Fear - Developed specifically for teenage anxiety
Woebot - AI chatbot that helps with anxiety using CBT techniques
Relaxation and Sleep Apps:
Breathe2Relax - Guided breathing exercises
Relax Melodies - Customizable sleep sounds and meditations
Sleep Cycle - Tracks your sleep and wakes you during light sleep
Most of these apps have free versions or free trials. They offer guided meditations, breathing exercises, sleep stories, anxiety tracking, and more. If cost is a concern, many public libraries now offer free access to premium apps like Calm or Headspace through their digital resources.
When to See a Doctor or Therapist
While self-help strategies are powerful, sometimes you need extra support. How do you know when it's time to talk to a professional about your anxiety?
Consider reaching out if:
Your anxiety is affecting your daily life, relationships, or schoolwork
You've tried self-help strategies but still struggle
You avoid important activities because of anxiety
You use alcohol, drugs, or harmful behaviors to cope
You have panic attacks
You have thoughts of harming yourself
Getting help is not a sign of failure – it's a sign of wisdom. Mental health professionals have specialized training in how to deal with anxiety and can offer:
An accurate diagnosis
Therapy approaches that have been proven to work
Medication if needed
Personalized strategies for your specific situation
Two common types of professionals who help with anxiety are:
Therapists/Counselors: They provide talk therapy to help you understand and manage your anxiety
Psychiatrists: Medical doctors who can prescribe medication if needed
If you're not sure where to start, talk to your family doctor. They can help determine what kind of support would be best for you and provide referrals.
Tips for Everyday Calmness
Learning how to deal with anxiety also means building daily habits that support your mental health:
Create a Consistent Routine: Having structure in your day helps reduce uncertainty, which can be a big trigger for anxiety.
Set Realistic Expectations: Perfectionism and anxiety often go hand in hand. Try setting goals that are challenging but achievable.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It can help you notice when anxiety is building and bring you back to the here and now. Even just one minute of mindfulness can make a difference.
Limit Media Consumption: Constant news and social media can overwhelm your brain with things to worry about. Try setting specific times to check updates rather than scrolling constantly.
Get Enough Sleep: Sleep and anxiety have a two-way relationship – anxiety can make it hard to sleep, and lack of sleep can make anxiety worse. Aim for 8-10 hours if you're a teen, 7-9 if you're an adult.
Schedule Worry Time: This might sound strange, but setting aside a specific 15-minute "worry time" each day can help contain anxiety. During this time, write down all your worries. Then, when worries pop up at other times, remind yourself that you'll deal with them during your next worry time.
Practice Gratitude: Taking time to notice good things, even small ones, can shift your focus away from anxiety. Try writing down three things you're grateful for each day.
Use Grounding Techniques: When anxiety feels overwhelming, grounding techniques can help bring you back to the present:
The 5-4-3-2-1 method: Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste
Hold something cold or warm
Count backward from 100 by 7s
Name animals alphabetically
Celebrate Small Wins: Learning how to deal with anxiety is a process. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small it might seem.
How to Help a Friend Who Has Anxiety
If someone you care about is struggling with anxiety, here's how you can help:
Listen Without Judgment: Sometimes people don't need advice – they just need to be heard. Let your friend talk without interrupting or trying to fix things.
Validate Their Feelings: Say things like "That sounds really difficult" or "I can see why you'd feel that way." Avoid saying things like "Just relax" or "Don't worry so much."
Encourage Professional Help If Needed: If your friend's anxiety seems severe, gently suggest they talk to a trusted adult or mental health professional.
Offer to Help With Small Tasks: Anxiety can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Offering specific help like "Can I walk with you to class?" or "Want me to help you study?" can be more useful than saying "Let me know if you need anything."
Learn About Anxiety: Understanding more about anxiety can help you be more supportive. You might even share this article with them!
Take Care of Yourself: Supporting someone with anxiety can be draining. Make sure you're also taking care of your own mental health.
Don't Take It Personally: Sometimes anxiety can make people irritable or cause them to cancel plans. Remember that this is the anxiety talking, not your friend.
Be Patient: Recovery from anxiety isn't linear. Your friend will have good days and bad days. Your consistent support makes a difference.
Conclusion
Learning how to deal with anxiety is a journey, not a destination. Some days will be easier than others, and that's perfectly normal. The strategies in this article aren't meant to eliminate anxiety completely – some anxiety is a normal part of life. Instead, these tools can help you manage anxiety so it doesn't control your life.
Remember that you're not alone. Millions of people struggle with anxiety, and millions have found ways to live well despite it. Each small step you take to manage your anxiety builds your confidence and skills for the future.
Whether you're dealing with normal everyday worry or more serious anxiety, there's help and hope available. Start with one small change today – maybe it's trying deep breathing when you feel stressed, cutting back on caffeine, or talking to someone you trust about how you're feeling.
Anxiety is manageable, and with time and practice, you can develop the skills to face it effectively. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and don't hesitate to reach out for support when you need it.
Helpful Resources
For more information about anxiety and mental health:
Mental Health Foundation - Offers information about anxiety and other mental health topics
National Institute of Mental Health - Provides science-based information about anxiety disorders
For immediate support:
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Remember: Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You deserve support in learning how to deal with anxiety effectively.
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